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Sex Positions That Will Drive Her Wild:

  • The Black-Eyed Piss: Stand on top of her car during her birthday party and shout “I WROTE A TWO HUNDRED PAGE FANFIC ABOUT FOX AND FALCO GETTING MARRIED

inaction is the best inn

My goal is to be disgusted and call all boys and girls a homo when they find me attractive

Things that similar people find similarly funny:

  • T-Rexs have tiny arms
  • Uranus sounds like a butt 

the reason he doesn’t want you like the other boys do is because they stare at you and he found salvation in God almighty so why dont you get your slut >:)

I solemnly swear that I am up to solemnly swear that I am solemnly swear that I am solemnly swear that I am solem n swe ar t ha t i a m . ..
harry potter fans in a nutshell, decomposing and breaking apart, lost in a field of static, miserable and aimless, downtrodden and forgotten 

How did I come to raise such a stupid song. You’re a failure and your life is a mess [talking about a song that you hate]

notalkingplz:

I like that part in Star Wars when Star Wars’ dad says “Look, Star Wars, I’m your dad.” and then he punches Star Wars’ hand off and kicks him out of the house.

hi i am a sailor peg and i appear to have lost my leg does anyone know where i can find a replacement leg? asking for a friend

Screensaver Of The Day: The Tears Of Our Enemies

Today’s Forecast: Tropical Cyclone The Tears Of Our Enemies

Coca-Cola The Tears Of Our Enemies

There’s Plenty More Fish In The Tears Of Our Enemies

We Don’t Swim In Your Toilet, So Please Don’t Pee In The Tears Of Our Enemies

XXX: Baby I’m Wet With, The Tears Of Our Enemies

Ahead In The Polls: Presidential Candidate The-Tears-Of-Our-Enemies